-vOnniE-

you let go my hand and i fall down.. i trying to stand up again.. i m tired of being like this.. i got no choice.. i still have to be like this.. i m breaking down.. i m hurt.. i m speechless.. i cant even smile for a sec.. i hate you! i hate myself! i hate everything which is complicated! why it cant be simple.. is easier for me! i no longer that strong that tough.. i might fall down again.. i duwan to act like this anymore.. i wan myself to be normal back.. i need a smile on my face.. i need it so much.. i wan the pain fade away.. i wan everything turn into simple.. i only wan my simple life back!

i m tired.. i making myself tired everyday.. staying back and help out everything.. so i dont have time to think and recall the memories.. i m so tired now.. but i still cant sleep coz i m thinking.. i m trying to make my life easier, not like now so complicated.. i dont want to involve in anything which is complicated.. my life, my world, my soul… *lost in the jungle*

Love is a mysteriously powerful feeling. It either exists or doesnt. there is nothing you have to be or do to earn it. there is nothing you can force it. if your heart is open to accept it and if you believe in it, love is already with you. Love is amazing and simple, dont make it complicated. if you had fall down, learn to stand up again and start a new journey. appreciate what you had now, your partner, the love from him or her, the moments of being with him or her, the memories that you had with him or her, everything bout him or her, appreciate it if not u will regret when it fade away. valentines is not only on the 14 of feb, is everyday if you appreciate your love. i just want to wish everyone, ‘happy valentine’. *be strong*

is so nice when u need them and they are beside you.. miss mah asked me ‘are you suffering?’ i answer ‘of course’ and we speechless for few seconds.. thinking bout relationship, friends, family, life, school and many more.. girls’ talk.. wehad a funny girls’ talk yesterday and today.. love it so much.. cause i feel the other feelings of them.. that i never experience before.. life and love is simple.. we are the one who make it complicated.. miss ho said ‘high school’s guys are not mature to be in love’ what do u think about that? i got no comment bout it. miss ho is getting mature and lady like since last year. glad to see her new look. miss teng said ‘keep everything of him in a box.. and try to let it go’ i wanted to answer her with this ‘i m trying to let it go.. it just too hard.. too deep and too pain’ but i didnt cause i m speechless that time.. i m being speechless in the girls’ talk.. listening to their story.. why there is no changes.. how much i hope there is a changes.. less, not more and no changes.. if you are smart enough you will undestand what i m craping here.. cant let it go.. tryign hard edi.. being strong for the whole night.. facing him is so suffering and painful.. aiks.. nothing i can do.. listen to song and crap crap crap~.. yan yan was comforting me and he terslept.. he is good cause he bang me! i m speechless today..

Life is like roller coaster, up and down all the way, you got no choice you have to ride it.. experience the feelings no matter it is sweet or bitter. Telling this to myself.. *wink*

wow.. this year pocket money bertambah jor.. and ytday i slept 16 hours.. i dont know why.. till this morning.. 11 am only i woke up.. slept from 7 pm till next day 11 am.. so terrer me.. till ppl msg me and i dunnoe reply wat.. "yeah.. i  know.. sleeping.. not now.. haha.. die lar.. yes drink drink" i m wondering navin understand what i write or did digi send it to him.. whahahha.. today is the 3rd day of chinese new year.. not goin anyway. coz wanna finish homework and everything before penang trip.. ciao-ing to pp tmr.. i m sorry that i cant come on thursday.. sorry to men, tan, reen, carmy, mui yee and feng! i almost forget how to type coz sleep too long.. my hand really kaku edi lar.. ahha.. alrite.. new year new wishes.. new lesie~

well.. chill-ing edi.. lets start with a word.. ‘happy’..

why everyone is greeting happy new year, happy chinese new year, happy birthday, happy valentine, happy deepavali.. why there is a happy word infronf of everyone festival and became a greeting.. is it when u wish ppl with a happy word den everything is turn into happy and nice? =) or =/ ?? no one online.. i mean my gang.. all went out for chinese new year.. and i just came back and typing this infront of the comp.. i saw something that i shouldnt have any respons of it.. i just feeling weird.. duh~ hate that feeling..

ok lets talk bout something happy.. i got byk angpau today.. den walk and eat den get angpau.. suppose to be happy got so many angpau.. den.. poser alot today.. in the temple.. i think it is a temple.. or garden of the temple.. somewhere u can pose lar.. den makan byk.. damn nice the fishies.. i like it so much.. coz the sauce.. one of my fav.. 

nothing much today.. *feeling weird* i think .. =) or =/ ??

what makes me different?

i feel like shouting now.. ar.. just cant find anyone to chat with now.. ar.. feel so weird.. ar!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate you man! Dun ever steal MY WORDS! I HATE YOU!!! damn it!

Fireflies light up people’s life when it is dark.. hrm.. what i wanna say here? i dont know.. cny edi.. new year got new wishes.. *smile*.. well cey wrote me testi just now.. it was touching.. and suprise that vincent wrote me a testi too.. simple and nice.. i dont know why now days i like something simple.. like a leave.. like pen.. like a word.. "mystery".. dont u think something simple is better than something nice but complicated.. so many testies i got these days.. i was suprise the news spread so fast.. everyone is so care bout me.. feel touching and thankful that i got them in my life.. they always tell me.. "yee mun u still got friends for you" repeat and repeat in my mind.. they knew that i know they will be there. they just remind me.. ‘dont be sad’.. navin is so sweet to me these days.. haha.. it sound like last time he being cruel to me.. no lar.. he is just too worry bout me.. everyone worried bout me ytday.. feel so guilty.. and touching.. love reen, men, feng, tan, cm, jy, vin, kt, dan, jon, dpn, chayang them alot alot alot.. neway.. happy chinese new year! *almost forget to wish everyone*

i was talking bout high-ing with carmen just now.. i think i m not high today.. *drink is not a solution to forget something* by navin.. i agree with it.. it doesnt work on me.. hrm today is another emo day! dont know why friends around me emo-ing.. included me i think.. what do u think bout me? emo or normal? sorry tan that i dirty your car.. i know it smell like jus pankreas now.. sorry.. i was being so high today and high-ing with my gang! high-ing den emo den high again den emo.. that is what we do today.. i sprank call jon for one hour.. den chat with dpn for half an hour.. den chat with carmen for half an hour.. i dunnoe why i like to sprank call people den chat edi.. shereen lar influnce me with her chatting on the phone.. haha she gonna bang me if she see this.. while just wanna tell everyone that! *drinking is not the solution to forget something in your mind*