-vOnniE-

now i understand why he said friends are important.. everything for him.. i get to know more bout him everyday.. bout his character.. everything of him.. now i get to know him with diff character in his life.. i use to know him with his gf’s character.. and now i have to use to get to know him more with his sis and friend’s character.. i learnt alot.. my friends are always dere for me.. when i m sad.. tanith, jy, jon, russel, reen, karmen, feng, lyk, wm, and uncle koon is dere for me to hug.. ya nvr forget carmen.. she with her advices.. i just use to get his love.. his care.. and now.. i felt lost.. without his love.. hrm.. i forget wat is the feeling of single.. i remember i use to laugh when i m single.. without all d love prob.. but i scare when i m single.. i use to miss couple’s life.. russel said.. some couple together just because they tot they loving each other at first.. but when they found dat they only crush on the patner and they ask for break up.. the other wan will get hurt and pain.. sad to hear sumthing like dat. really got phobia bout love.. scare to being hurt.. when u are in love.. u will nvr tot.. will i kena hurt.. will i lost feeling.. or anything.. wat in ur mind is.. think bout him or she.. only him or she in ur deep heart.. make ur heart pump faster every seconds… i had grow up.. learn to let go sumthing not belong to u.. learning.. just give me some time.. mayb few months.. or just few weeks.. this kind of thing cant be done in just few days time.. really.. i gonna start with my brand new day.. my single life this year.. i had a nice time with him.. the whole 2005 year.. i m glad to be with his for once.. and now.. spm coming.. another 10 months.. time past very fast when u dun notice and dun appreciate it.. my first day and a new day.. support me.. i m telling myself.. be happy soon.. my wish.. my dream..

the first person i call is vincent.. the first person i talk to is vincent.. the first person i said i love u to is vincent.. the first person i cry for is vincent.. walau he was the first person wei.. hehe.. time just pass by my shoulder again.. new year.. a brand new day.. still trying hard.. still loving the same person.. hrm.. =) goodnight my dear darling.. sleep well.. muax!

everyone got their plan tonight.. countdown or anything.. me.. stay at home.. daddy went out.. mummy got plan.. left me and pinky.. let me tell bout this year’s story.. january.. the first month of 2005.. 31 of dec 2004.. i went countdown with him.. so fun.. spray the thingy around.. i felt that he protected me on dat day.. skol reopens.. scare.. with the form 4’s stupid books.. came back.. called him chated with him so long.. january.. a lovely month… following by new year.. chinese new year.. he had fun in my hse.. playing cards.. talking.. and everything.. playing mahjong oso.. he learnt dat.. valentine.. eventhough not with him.. he gave me a love pillow.. so happy.. march.. busy with skol’s works.. eventhough busy still lovely dovey.. april.. still like normal.. have fun everyday.. but prepare for test.. may.. exam came.. is time to study.. jun.. having fun.. preparing birthday party and party.. july.. tanith’s party.. went with him.. so fun.. august.. his birthday.. celebrate with alot of ppl.. i like his birthday.. september.. time to exam again.. the whole month.. his exam.. october.. my turn for exam.. rocket project.. nov.. school holidays.. he working.. december.. genting.. my birthday and heart broken.. 2005.. i felt love and being hurt.. when sum1 love u u felt happy.. when u love sum 1 u felt lost.. coz u dunnoe whether he love u anot.. when he dont love u.. u felt hurt.. so glad dat i being love with him.. for once.. i felt love.. for the first time.. dat deeply in my heart.. everything was like the story.. a love story began.. but end with a sad ending.. time pass by our shoulder everyday.. we din notice it.. and the feeling gone oso.. the feeling make me happy and sad.. no more loving by him.. as a lover.. time just pushing me to forget everything.. every little thing he said.. but there is sumthing left in my head.. i cant forget.. he smile.. he kiss.. the love feeling so strong.. but no more.. love is sweet but it does hurt.. really.. it hurt.. i can feel it now.. kiss goodbye.. i miss him.. his love.. his hug.. his smile.. his care.. when i gonna have all this again.. i m having a phobia.. i think.. i scare to being love and being hurt again.. i scare.. i m really sick.. fever had follow me for few days.. why they dun go away.. go away with my sadness.. let me smile again.. truly from my heart.. ocean the part.. day after day.. and my heart slowly go insane.. i like this song right here waiting for u.. love it so much.. i get to know this song by him.. i love this song coz of him.. i heard this song for the first time  coz of him.. i miss this song oso coz of him.. time.. is amazing.. u cant chase back.. u cant go fast.. i just like the way time move.. pass by our shoulder everyday.. u din feel it.. but lastly u realise it.. why feeling is so sweet and cruel.. it can go and back in just few second.. feeling and time are amazing.. ppl told me.. no point waiting and put hope on it.. coz it will never come back.. but no one knows the future.. wat i can do?.. tired of thinking.. tired of making myself tired.. tired of crying.. tired of everything.. why love is so sweet and cruel.. why love can be so sweet and cruel at the same time.. u dun feel it.. u will nvr know it.. new year eve.. is just a lonely day for me.. happy new year everyone..

i hope u can see this blog.. i told u wat is in my heart.. everything and everything.. there are more story in my heart.. but dat is wat i wanna tell for the moment.. treat me like a sis k.. sorry for treating u like that.. sorry kor.. i just not in d rite mood.. sorrie..

the smile on my face… i just act it out or wat? i dunnoe.. i m wondering rite now.. scare dat i m just act it out.. i oso scare dat is a truly smile from my heart.. i got phobia about it.. scare to being hurt and love.. really scare.. but i still love him..

well.. i announce it yesterday.. so pain.. so hurt.. why he din cheer me up wan.. feel so lost dat time.. felt boring and every sad words can put on my right now.. aiks.. really lar.. felt so uneasy with him yesterday.. so boring.. nothing to chat.. aiks.. but lastly he gave me a hug.. a bro hug.. lovely and nice.. i felt better.. but afta dat i started thinking again.. i dunnoe why i love to think lar.. aiks.. i hate myself lar.. think think think.. heart aching!

now is 1.44 am.. dunnoe why i still not on d bed yet.. love u vincent.. love you my friends.. love you dad and mum.. =(

just now.. morning.. ehh 11 am lar.. went to ss2.. wah o near paramount.. den pass by sk tmn sea.. ahha vincent, jy and wm’s pri skol.. den pass by kj.. wah all d place seems like so near lar.. i so shock.. keep on thinking bout the places and the way how to go.. stomach ache today.. so damn pain.. summore.. muka pucat pucat.. like sick only.. love sick.. hehe.. aiks.. =(

i had my christmas in seow feng’s hse.. with all my friends.. i got a suprise.. at least i only lost one person in my life rite now.. i trying hard yesterday.. very hard.. very pain.. yesterday was fun.. we throw water ballons.. we pour water to each other and.. when koon tsing go back.. he kena at last.. i go back around 12 sumtin.. i cant stay longer.. coz i wanna be a gd girl.. ehhe.. i went back.. i called jy.. nice to chat with him.. but i sure dissapointed him.. coz.. i m still the same.. i dunnoe why.. aiks..

my heart aching.. tanith.. thanks for the msg.. it make me cry.. thx.. today is chirstmas day.. thx to vincent.. thx so much.. but i still din get a happy christmas.. i hope i could.. i want..